A little personal crisis

Well, this time it doesn’t only feel like an eternity since I last wrote something on the blog, it actually was an eternity. Work has kept me super busy, and I didn’t have time to breathe, let alone sit down and write a blog post. But quite a lot has changed since the last time I talked to you. Actually, already quite a while ago, I’ve decided that I did not want to prolong my contract with the company I was working for, so some days ago, I had my last day at work. I have to admit, I’m quite sad to not see my co-workers anymore, and it feels ridiculously odd to not spend my days at the office, but all in all, it definitely was the right decision for me to stop spending my time there.

When I decided to not stay with my company, I also set my mind on going back to university to do my masters’.  I know that this is quite uncommon in some countries, but in Austria, most places actually require postgraduate education since we used to have a different system and the majority of people still do not quite understand the reason of a Bachelor degree. So I was sure that at some point I was going to continue my studies. I was already considering it last year, but didn’t get into any uni I wanted to go to. This changed this year, and I actually had quite a good choice of universities to choose from – and whether I made the right decision or not, I’m still considering since I definitely did not choose the easy way out.

I’ve realized that I’ve become quite a lazy person over the past year, and decided that it was time for me to go abroad again – and for some reason, I’ve decided to make Australia my home for the next two years. I’ve always wanted to spend some time in the country full of animals with the mission to kill me, and since Austria does not have a work + travel arrangement with the land down under, I knew that my master’s was basically my only choice to fulfil this dream. So when I got the confirmation letter from the university, I was excited as f*** (sorry for the wording), and I knew I had to do it or I’d want to kill myself for it at some point in the future. But as you might guess from the way of writing, at the moment I am scared to death. I am leaving friends, family and my boyfriend behind to go to a country on the other side of the world for two years. I will be staying in a city basically consisting out of suburbs, and I don’t even like suburbs. I have to figure out everything concerning my studies within 3 weeks, and I don’t know where to start. And I’m not even sure if I chose the right studies or if I’m just wasting my money, time and energy for something I already know and don’t care about.

One thing definitely not decreasing my pessimism is the accommodation issue. To be honest, housing in Australia is a nightmare. Everything is either ridiculously expensive (and when I say ridiculously, I mean ridiculously – what accommodation providers want for student housing is crazy!) or seems to fall apart just by looking at it. Additionally, it’s hard to look at properties from the other side of the world, so I basically have no other choice than to go there without a clue where I’m going to spend my next 2 years – or at least my semester – hoping to find a place to stay within a week, when at the moment, I can’t find anything close to okay on the internet. And in addition to that, I’m ridiculously scared that something might happen to one of my loved ones, and I won’t be there to support them and my family. Usually, I don’t have problems with moving somewhere without knowing someone, but for some reason, this time I’m not sure if I’ll be able to find someone to spend my time with.

I know, this a little different and less upbeat to the stuff I tend to write about, but I just had to get this off my chest, and I hope that’s fine by you. And be prepared for some less posts about Vienna in the future, I think my studies will keep me away for some time ;)

 

Anyone who’s been abroad for two years without going home? How did you feel?

 

Greetings from a girl with very mixed feelings.

xx, K (:

PS: Pictures were taken in Budapest on a little weekend break – still have a lot more to come, so keep your eyes open for a sneaky post on that in the future. (: